a different nightmare.

This morning, I woke up from a weird nightmare. It started off with a horrific tragedy. But soon after that scene, it ended with me in a room with other mourners. We were supporting each other through the sorrrow, and then there was such a strong feeling of hope in Christ to restore all things. Not of Him "one day" in the future restoring us, but a very present hope that He had already begun restoring us.

When I woke up, I had that paradoxical mix of tremendous sorrow with real, rejoicing hope.

"...sorrowful, yet always rejoicing..."

But i still prefer to not have nightmares....

love hurts.

A parent can be so loving and doting over a child. And with that same child, the parent can wield a firm, sometimes harsh, hand of discipline. All of this is done in love.

And friends, brothers, and sisters should be the same way with each other. ya?

treasure.

Making my way through Francis Chan's "Crazy Love".

"True faith means holding nothing back; it bets everything on the hope of eternity."

Gahhh!! so hard to do. Okay. Laying it out there... more and more.. and more..

..while expecting to receive more and more joy back! But sometimes, action (and discipline) has to come before the reward. I am not exactly like this man but growing more like him:

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

(Matthew 13:44 ESV)

i want to try this.

1) break a poptart in half.
2) place ice cream in between.
3) eat poptart ice cream sandwich

i am not my own.

Jen & Richard's weekend this past Saturday was awesome! and fun! And the weekend in general, I got to see old friends, hear about where they all are now and how they're doing. When it came to job or career stuff, I got to thinking: The old self would have thought me a sucker. The new self still says i'm being a fool, but beyond that, I am still loved by God.

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my will and make it Thine
it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own
it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour
at Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.

-chris tomlin, 'take my life'

Oftentimes, when I'm going through trials, I try to comfort myself with something like: "God is putting me through this because it'll be for some good (practical) purpose in the future." But I can't keep leaning on that, even as "good" as it sounds. Sometimes, trials don't bear "practical" fruit, not even for ministry's sake. But all trials are to draw us closer to Him, teaching us that we can run home to Our Father. Sometimes there is no practical/ministerial purpose other than to simply remind us that God loves us and we can depend on Him. fruits of the Spirit.

that ruckus.

The worst thing about you California and Boston people is that you always leave!

a hard teaching.

http://francischansblog.blogspot.com/2008/07/prayer-americans-refuse-to-pray.html

Gahhhhh.. i can't do it...

culture shock.

Previously to moving into NYC, for 10 years I had been living on large, beautiful, nature-filled campuses of education institutions with lots of "smart" people.

a letter.

God, i miss seeing your glory and majesty.

-charles.

in a dark place.

So courageous until now,
Fumbling and scared,
So afraid You'll find me out,
Alone here with my doubt.

- David Crowder Band, A Beautiful Collision