Esther 4

Such great examples of people with faith! Mordecai and Esther.

Their counterplan to save their people wasn't really much of a plan; just going to the king, begging and pleading. Yet Mordecai was absolutely certain that God (and only God) would deliver the Jews. He held onto God's promises to protect and strengthen His chosen people.

Esther's calls to fasting and prayer were an indication of her faith in God. And she did not treat the fasting as some superstitious, good luck charm or mantra that could manipulate God. She was earnest in her prayer, but also she was absolutely open to God's will. Verse 16, "...and if I perish, I perish."

There are times when I think I'm displaying great faith for some issue/problem. But often, if I looked much deeper within myself, my hope wasn't really in God; it was a hope in my praying, my efforts in praying, and a hope that it would please Him enough to give me what I want. These kinds of sins are soooo deep within my heart. Even if I acknowledged that that was going on, I would just lie to myself and never really change.

Yes, the Holy Spirit is the only one who can perform that kind of heart surgery/transformation. But I also have to be earnest in my repentance, earnest in prayer, earnest in wanting the Spirit to change me. But this almost seems like a cyclical problem. Do I really want to be pruned or am I just saying what a Christian should say/pray?

For me, it isn't a cyclical, downward spiraling problem. I know that I want God to work in me and I know that He will. I can't explain it or prove my genuineness, but as far as I'm concerned, that's it. And I thank God that He has given me the spiritual eyes/vision to see this at least.

Anyways, I don't know how far I am from taking some uncomfortable action for God while also saying without hesitation, "if I perish, I perish". Very far probably. But I'll get there..in the end.

[Wow, this post/devo was random and incoherent. Meh....]